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Pet Loss Support
Dear Friend...
One of the hardest parts of pet ownership is the death of our beloved companions. They love us unconditionally. They accept us as we are. They are non-judgmental. They trust us completely.
We, in turn, learn many things about ourselves and them. We learn to accept them as they are. We care for them. We cry for them. We laugh over their antics. We seek them out, they come. We desire friendship, they are there. We have hopes for the future, of which they are a part.
For owners of special needs pets, the loss is even harder. We agonize over their welfare. We daily attend to their needs, with foods, with medications, with awaking at all hours. We hear them and immediately move into action. We accommodate their illnesses, by cleaning, by walking with them, by sitting with them. Holding them. Talking softly with them.
The lives we lead tend to be completely enwrapped in their own. The bonding between us is the same as the bonding a parent has with a sick baby.
But there comes a day when our beloved babies will leave us. Their bodies begin the process of dying. Or, their souls become tired. Sometimes it happens suddenly. Other times, the process is long and painful for us. We still love them. They in turn, still love us. The pain of letting them go is unbearable. We are losing our babies.
In our moment of loss, the floodgates of sadness and regrets awaken. We are no longer bound by times. We have no need to remember medication schedules. We are not required to be home. We do not have need to find that special person to take care of our baby when we must leave for a day or few. Their absence leaves a gaping hole in our lives. Not only do we miss their presence, but our lives suddenly come to a halt. Almost meaningless.
Sometimes it becomes difficult to continue on. Our grief may be unaccepted or misunderstood. At times, we are hurt by the very people who care for us. Sometimes our sorrow is met with contempt. These may be the moments where we miss our pet the most. This may be when we would have gone to them for comfort or understanding, creating even greater sensations of loss. There comes a moment in time, when the pain will begin to ease. We may face this time with mixed emotions. Perhaps feelings of guilt will arise. But the wonderful part about this moment is that we can begin to remember our special babies with more peace than pain. It's as if the cold blanket of memories begins to warm.
We love them as much as we ever have. We aren't "getting over it." We never really do. We will always remember them. They are forever in our hearts. "Getting over it" implies putting them away in our minds. Forgetting them. Rather, we are learning to accept their death, and learning to live without their daily presence.
We may begin to turn our thoughts back to the living. We may decide to memorialize our pet. Most importantly, we begin to heal. This healing takes on many faces. Each of us heal in different ways. We may paint or write poetry. We may plant a garden including all our pet's favorite plants or vegetables. We may reach out to others in similar circumstances. We may become proactive in canine epilepsy awareness. We may even open our hearts to another special pup.
The hardest part in all of this is the feeling that we are alone. But we are not. Our grief is not unknown in the world of pet owners. Our situation may be unique, but understanding can be found. Sharing our loss can help us deal with our harsh pain. Sometimes we need the comfort of one person who is understanding. Other times, a group setting may better be in order. (For this I would recommend http://www.aplb.org/frameset4.htm
Three times a week there is a chat, you can find me there at least once a week. I am in no way affiliated with this group. Just a very thankful Mommy who lost her beloved epi baby, Khiori. Through this group of loving people, I have found I am not alone. I have indeed suffered a great loss. Khiori was an important part of the world. I found a place where I was able to cry, share stories of her life, laugh over the silly antics of my own and others' babies. But most importantly I have been able to share my greatest emotions of pain, sorrow, fears, and my love for my girl, Khiori.
Faithfully,
Rachel SoloDancer (Newf Nanny Extraordinary) , Leo (My Heart's Comfort) & ~Angel Khiori~ - Forever My Shining Star - July 1998 - March 2001
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Some tips from a special friend on Dealing with the Loss of Your Angel Pup
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